The breaking point.

What if I am a horrible person?

I'm suddenly paralyzed by the fear I'm a bad person and that people hate me because of who I am or who I pretend to be. Now I'm completely confused and I don't know up from down. Am I popular or not? Am I just popular enough?

Am I likable?

All that, it's all confusing me suddenly and I don't know what's making me think like this. Why is it all coming to me me now?

College is fast approaching and I know what I want to be but is the colleges I chose the rights ones and will I even be able to get in them? Will I receive rejection from them all? I slacked off my four years of high-school, I should really be a student averaging about 90s but I'm only producing 80s and staggering ones at that. Did i dig a whole too deep?

Failure is my biggest fear.

I procrastinate like no other, right now I should be engaging myself in writing up a paper for Gov but instead I'm here. How the hell am I going to make it in college?

I want the college experience.

Do i deserve it?

I don't know anymore.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I just really want to be a doctor and I'm hoping one day I awaken from a stupor and happen to be in the operating room preforming my fifth delivery of the day.

One day will I hear:

paging doctor [insert husbands funky last name]

I really do hope so.

Failure is too big of a whole to get myself out of and I have no other plans but my success.

I'm scared out of my mind.

.peace. love. ringo.

El Ringo & You Too;;