Suicide Note

My friend just texted me with a disturbing message, she said she wants to take her life, ironically we've been trying to start an Anti-suicide thing.

We've yet to begin.

She said there was no need for her to be on earth in a nutshell, but i'm slowly trying to convince her that's ill advised, what i fear most is that she's alone and she does something incredibly stupid which she will regret. Life is so precious and it can be broken so quick that i don't understand how she could consider that. The main cause of pain is that her grandmother who lives with her is down right nasty to her, i've been to her house in vegas and her grandmother is evil. The most evil being on earth, she has cancer now and as i heard that i knew my friend was happy subconsciously. No one wishes these things on people but she hates her and it'd be a big weight off of her. My friends mother just moved them from here in New York to Las Vegas, she's the new girl it was hard for her to make friends. Her mother leaves her with her brother quite a lot and though her mother's a fantastic woman i don't feel she's proper "idol" material. She's a single mom, which isn't her fault, but i've been told she'll leave the house, or things like that. I don't want my friend following that. I told her that things will be okay if she gives it time. Time passes by so quick, there no need to end it quicker than it has to.

I began to think that maybe this was God's plan for her, a trial, i hope she doesn't do it. She won't pick up my calls and quite frankly my heart aches knowing that she's crying that hard over an idiotic woman who is miserable and lonely. Her grandmother has no heart, that i am sure of.

But for me the problem, selfishly lies in, i'm not scared for her life.

I feel a sense of peace.

I have faith she'll be okay but i'm worried faith won't be enough, i want her to be okay.

I pray she'll be okay.

I pray God will give her another chance to look at life for what it is: beautiful.

If i could write her a suicide note it'd be to forget about all the bad and embrace the good. Know that it's never the right solution to do something along those lines and it's a viscous circle and no one wins. She's leave her brother, her mother, her horribly young and vivacious family or aunts and uncles and her father and her step brother and her dogs who she loves so much all to release a life time of pain unto them. It's wrong. The logic is twisted. And because i tend to think more with my mind, my heart has taken a back seat to compassion.

I have no compassion for her, i don't know what that means.

I just know i'm scared.

Deadly afraid, someone will loose sight of her and she'll go for it.

She'll go for the gold.

And, God forbid, if it happens, i'll be too late to stop it and i'll be too broken to help her or anyone else in her predicament. She's a brilliant smart girl who deserves far better than some pointless empty hearted death. She needs to be happy, live life, be successful because i know better than anyone she will be even if she doesn't. I hope that she finds the man of her dreams, marries him and creates a family with him. I hope we can grow old together and keep in touch and stay the best of friends and grow closer at the years go on. I hope she doesn't loose sight of what she wants and i hope that she understands people love her and want to keep her from death. I hope that God's looking over her and telling her all this before anything happens.

If there was a suicide note i could write her, it'd be this.

Her life is too precious, too bright to go.

Her life is too influential and too important to expire so early.

If i were a suicide note i'd hug her till she stopped crying and understood that there is much more beauty to life. That her grandmother is not of human emotions and she doesn't show her what love really is. That i'd like to help guide her from the bad and lead her towards the good. That i'd like to keep her from sadness and how her happiness. That there are ways of finding peace and solidarity, and that i'll never give up on her. That she is a driving force and she can do pretty damn much anything. That i love her to the deepest core of my non-existent heart and i want to be life long friends with her because she's a brilliant bright person. That i want her to be safe and from harm. I want her to be safe and from harm. I want her to be safe and from harm.

I want her to be safe and from harm.

God, if ever i needed something then this is it,

watch over her and keep her safe and alive. Keep her from doing something brash and unreasoned, keep her within your eyesight and keep her safe within you're grasp. Keep her here on Earth from harm, from anyone that may harm her, keep her from harming anyone especially herself.

Those with no heart, no compassion to speak of may not voice it but they love her, she is a dear friend.

I hope that this suicide note has an ending other than the predictable one. I hope that she concurs through this. I hope she lives pass the anger, the hurt, the pain, the sorrow and the fear. I hope that life and God grant her a chance to see her full potential. I hope that she will be okay. I pray that my prayers reach God. I pray that her prayers reach God.

I hope her spirit doesn't just yet.

I hope this suicide note has an ending other than the predictable one.

I hope she's sees my suicide note.

扒Elly